2 Things

I decided at the last moment Thursday evening to take a bloggy break. Sure I said I woul have something for you for Digital Thursday on that Friday, but I clearly did not understand the heights of apathy that I could achieve. So instead I decided to take an impromptu week off from the blogging. Much of this impromptunity was predicated by being in Battle Creek, MI for the week and not having the best intertube connectivity at my disposal.

Could I have smurfed out a way to post daily from the dead confines of Battle Creek? Of course I could, I am resourceful and capable. Did I smurf out a way? Of course I did. Did I implement my smurfy plan? Hells no! I am also lazy well beyond my inherent cognitive abilities. Honestly my laziness knows no bounds… because to know one’s limits one must test to see the extents of those limits. Testing is inherently not lazy. Therefore all true laziness is limitless. Q.E.D.

Anyway… I have 2 Things to chat about today other than my Theory of Infinite Laziness*.

Thing the First:

Battle Creek, Michigan is a dead husk of a city. I have rarely been in a city where there really were not any people noticeable. The sidewalks were basically deserted. The city was constantly quiet. It was eerie.

Oooh I like typing “eerie”

Thing the Second:

Wifey will be heading out of town Wednesday with Q for some work she needs to get done in Rockport, MA. She will be getting back Sunday evening. It will be difficult for everyone involved. I will be soloing with Little Man and Wifey will be soloing with Q. I definitely got the better end of this stick effortwise, but it will be difficult without the womenfolk here. I will dearly miss the big toothless smile of Q and the companionship of my wife. We are trying to figure out the logistics of how she will be able to work this.

I am primarily concerned with how she is going to wrangle Q, and all of Q’s accoutrement as well as her own stuff in the airport. I think an umbrella stroller may be in order. The other concern is about sleeping. If Q has an opportunity to nurse, she will. Lately she has considered sleeping next to mama much akin to all you can eat popcorn shrimp. You can always eat one more. She nurses in her sleep for 10 seconds and sleeps quietly for 5 minutes and nurses in her sleep for a little and just plain sleeps for a little. I have had to be an interventionist in the middle of the night to keep Q from the nursey nursey. I am going to try some different techniques tonight and see if we can keep the constant nursing to a minimum.

I don’t believe anyone is looking forward to this. Little Man inquired upon hearing these plans, “But won’t I get tired of Papa by then?”

To recap:
Last week I was in Battle Creek, Michigan
Wooooooo
I will be grilling in the snow this evening… maybe
Now it looks like I will be doing double bed-time ritual since Wifey has an evening meeting
I am not sure what will be for dinner tonight
Maybe cheap pizzas
Those are easy
Easy can be good
Cheap pizzas are not good
In the way that pizza cannot be good
Meaning “not as good as other pizza but still good cause it is pizza”
Little Man is getting his room painted this week
That aught to be nice
Did you miss me?



* patent pending

2 Things

I thought that I should continue on with the recap of the third and fourth years of the blog, but because the public has demanded that I do not do that. Therefore, in order to keep my 5 fervent readers, I will refrain from doing a post of the first sentences for year 3 or for year 4. I listen… I am a listener.

There are 2 things to talk about from this weekend.

Thing the First: Halloween

Little Man enjoyed himself immensely on Halloween. He does not do the “trick-or-treat” thing, but he does enjoy handing out the candy. He dressed as a black “Halloween Cat” for the holiday. He did a great job meting out candy to all the kids trick or treating.

There was a surprising lack of 14 year olds just wanting free candy this year. Usually there are about 10 kids who are way too old to be trick-or-treating, who did not wear a costume, and who seem to feel entitled to my candy. This year, I did not see that. There were a few kids who were questionably aged for the event, but they were costumed, so that seemed okay.

Little Man was invited to a Halloween Party on Saturday that he bravely went to. It was for a friend of mine’s kids and he wasn’t going to know anyone there. He went and the party goers whilst costumed were still very cliquish. He did not have a good time, but he did eat their pizza before we left. That showed them!

Thing the Second: Vertigo

The vertigo that Wifey suffered through about 2 years ago came back on Sunday. Since we already knew that the symptoms might come back (per the ER doc) we knew that it might rear its ugly head again. She was diagnosed with BPPV last time around and the remedy for that particular bout of vertigo was the Epley Maneuver. While not a trained medical professional, I helped Wifewy through the set of postures for the Epley. It seemed to help but she was out of commission for most of yesterday.

She is doing much better today, but alas and alack for Q, she is no longer able to rock the little girl to sleep.

To recap:
I won the Cartographer’s Guild October Challenge
Go me!
I have a boo boo on my right birdie finger
It makes lots of people think that I am flipping them off
I am not
Maybe…
No one bought me lunch in celebration of my Blogaversary
I am flipping them off
Listening to my throbbing headache

Viewer Mail

In my attempts at half-assery I have decided to look into my mailbag and answer reader questions. It turns out that I do not in fact have a mailbag, and I only in fact have one email. That should cut down the decision making time… so here we go from the old mail bag!

From: Avid Under Construction Reader
Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:46 AM
To: SRH
Subject: RE: tuesday's post

#10 - funny!

Do you need a blog topic for today? Since you're half-bummin' this anyway, and you have a baby so I know you're home a lot, here's the topic: Hey, SRH, whatcha
been watching on TV lately? The good, the bad and the ugly.



So here we go, thanks, good reader, for giving me fodder for today’s post.

TV in the SRH household used to be a past-time closer to a religion than a hobby. It was mandatory to be in front of the TV to watch certain shows when they came on. Much lamenting and gnashing of teeth occurred if shows were missed and many a schedule was altered to accommodate viewing pleasure.

Those days have mostly passed. Ever since Little Man arrived, TV just has not claimed the level of prominence that it once enjoyed in the world of SRH. Honestly, there are not many shows that I tend to follow, but I will attempt to let everyone in on my TV viewing secrets.

So far there are few “must watches” on my list. I think much of this has to do with the shift in TV from stand alone shows with over-arching themes to sequential tales of suspense and requirement. Most dramatic shows these days (aside from the myriad of CSI and Law&Order franchises) seem to require you to watch every week lest one miss vital information. I have a hard time supporting that kind of viewing behavior for myself, because I know that it is a treacherous slippery slope for me to attempt to tread. Anyhoo…

Project Runway is/was a must see in my book. It is rather unfortunate that this is the final season on Bravo and that it has just completed and that the show is supposedly moving to L.A. and that it might not even exist due to litigation about its move from Bravo to Lifetime, television for women. This is one of those few shows that I will/did attempt to schedule around.

Burn Notice on USA Network is another that is eminently watchable. The show is like a modern day Magnum PI where there is a good amount of playful banter between characters, an over-arching theme and storyline, but also nice bite-sized pieces to make you feel good about yourself.
Simply Ming is the lone cooking show that I have scheduled to DVR. Unfortunately this show is a bit hit or miss due to Ming Tsai’s (the chef on the show after which the show is named) seems to need most of his food and recipes to slide past the idea of savory flavoring and into fire breathing heat. He also likes to do a bunch of foods with whole fish. Anyhoo… we found some great recipes from his shows. So far we have liked the ribs that we made and the stir fry made with his ginger syrup.

Secrets of the Dead on PBS is also a DVR show for me. Besides the dulcet tones of Live Schreiber narrating the show, it is basically CSI for archeological crime scenes and for people who are not HAWT. The show delves into an archeological site and then reconstructs the events leading up into that snapshot in time. It is very well produced and typically well paced. I do have to mention that occassionally the show focuses on something lesss archeological... that is okay, I guess...

Monsterquest on the History Channel is also a fun watch for me. I do DVR it, but as of late I have not been impressed with the subject matter. So far they have hit the big guns and are now starting to go down the food chain as far as cryptozoologicals are concerned. It was an interesting premise when looking at modern search methods for Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, but it is not that interesting when the subject matter is about big rats. I question its ability to last as an ongoing series. They are clearly starting to run out of credible subject matter.

I have just started watching that show Life on NBC. I am not sure yet if it is one that I will continue following or not. You hear that, Life? You’re on the fence… better make it a good one this week!

To recap:
We are attempting to teach Q that Wifey is not an all you can eat buffet at night
It seems to be working
I will definitely have a Work in Progress to post tomorrow for the neglected tag of Digital Thursday
Looking for a new nanny is difficult
Marinated flank steak with rice and vegetables for dinner tonight
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm steak
It is a simple marinade for simple folk
Oil, Vinegar, Rosemary, Oregano, Salt, Pepper, and Garlic
Why did I capitalize those ingredients?
It is tasty
Then tonight Wifey and I will be enjoying Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog
Listening to I Wanna Be a Cowboy by Boys Don’t Cry ‘cause I am 80’s like that

Is that the phone ringing?

So the trip to the ‘Bama did not occur. On Wednesday the fecal matter started to propagate towards the air circulation system, whereas on Thursday it did make contact. Wifey and Q decided it was time for them to get ill (and not in the rapper warz way either). Wifey’s amazing immune system finally succumbed to the viral agents that had infested Little Man and myself, and Q decided that she was not happy with Wifey’s influenza vaccine infused breast milk. To make a long story short, my marriage… nay, my life would have been in peril had I gone to ‘the Bam’ for Capt McAirforcepant’s nuptials. Such is the way of a papa to a wee one.

That being said, it was a good weekend, nonetheless. Wifey started to climb back from the brink of sinusitis on Saturday evening and by yesterday afternoon she was feeling human again. Q, however, has decided to make us pay for our feeble attempts at sleep. She is like that.

Anyhoo… I will be phoning it in for this week. So this week expect some half assed, weak posts (more halfier-assy and weaker, thank you very much). Next week I shall come back with guns a’blazing and quips a’flyin. Papa Bear needs to take a break before the 4th annual blogaversary special extravaganza. I might post something digital on Thursday, but that depends on if I have my October Challenge done for the Cartographer’s Guild. I should, but let’s not promise anything silly here.

To recap:
Papa Bear is tired and his brain no work so good
Curiously the above statement does not imply causality
It looks like I only have the attention span to be active in more than 2 forums
I know that surprises some of you
10 Days to the 4th Blogaversary
We got a new phone system here at work
Now we cannot prank co-workers
Stupid caller ID
We also cannot save them from conversations that they need to get out of
Stupid caller ID
I am not listening to anything today

5 Things

Yeah, you read that right. 5 Things

Thing the first:
The problem with me and getting well after a bout of head-coldy sickness is that when it is over, when it is all said and done I have some nasty assed shit spew forth from my sinus passages… I mean it comes out orange and frothy… and it just keeps coming… and then you, and I do mean you as in not me but someone who is potentially near me, can hear air entering into those sinus passages. With how disgusting that sounds and it is truly disgusting, just be glad you are not me. Well, be glad that you are not me for this specific reason this time. Okay now you can go back to the general feeling of being glad you are not me.

Thing the second:
The issue with IKEA stores is not even the furiniture which is pretty much well made and relatively inexpensive. The issue with IKEA stores is the lower level stuff. Those who have been to a store know what I am talking about. Inexpensive accoutrement all over the place is just waiting to be purchased. It is not the furniture that people spend all their money… it is the extra stuff downstairs. Did we need a 17 piece set of plastic food containers? No… did I mention it was $1.99? Then we need 3. That place is one of those places that you could seriously go broke saving money. I hate you IKEA store only because I love you so much.

Thing the third:
Little Man is still quite into trains. Whilst Wifey, Q, and I were at IKEA spending the kids’ college money for a bag of 48 stainless steel sporks, Little Man and his Mimma were at the number one railfanning site in the state of Ohio. They saw 5 to 7 trains in a very short timeframe. The initial report was 5, then it was reduced to 6, but he can only recall 5 trains. Anyway… he was on cloud nine with his Mim Saturday whilst Wifey and I were worried he was feeling left out.

Thing the fourth:
We start the nanny interviewing process again tonight. This is such a difficult process made even more difficult by Wifey and my particular idiosyncratic lists of things we would like. For some reason “hotty who likes flabby wheezing mouth breathing balding guys” is NOT on her list. Go figure.

Currently we have a good universe of options from which to pick, so hopefully this decision will be made by this weekend.

Thing the fifth:
I am heading down ‘Bama-way on Friday to see Capt McArmypant’s younger sister get married. Oddly enough, she is Capt. McAirForcepants who is getting married to a Capt McMarinepants. Hey McArmypants! You need to look for an O-3 in the navy to round out this United Colors of Beneton Military family. So, McArmpants, quit your whining and get yourself to some navy posts and hit on all the Lieutenants you can see. It’s the Navy so you don’t necessarily have to limit yourself to one team.

To recap:
I will actually have something for Digital Thursday this week
Well, hopefully, at least
I have a few irons in the fire digitally speaking, of course
I am tired of blowing my nose
My cube neighbors are tired of me snorting
This sickness is tiring
Listening to my sinuses de-pressurize and fill with air

Un-digital Thursday

The cold meds I am on at the moment make it difficult for me to concentrate. No post today.

To recap:
Advil Cold and Sinus gelcaps, while good at alleviating sinus pressure have a side effect of malaise
Of course I have a primordial tendency towards malaise
That could be the culprit
I would rather blame the cold meds
I need more caffeine as well
But who doesn't?
No really. Who doesn't?
Anyone who says they don't need caffeine to survice cold medicine and boredom is a liar pants
There, I said it
They are a Liar McLiarpants from Fibbville, Tennesse
And a jerk
They are a jerk named Liar McLiarpants from Lower Fibbville, Tennesse
And should be shot
From close range
With paperclips from rubber bands
I mean it
Listening to the arcade music in my head...
Have a great weekend everyone

2 things

Thing the First:

The problem with being sick as a parent is that you still have to be “on.” There is no holing yourself in a room and sleeping the illness away without active and constant assistance from somewhere. I am a bit under the weather right now. If I were in my 20’s with no kids in tow, I would alert my wife to my illitude and sleep it off for 14 hours emerging stubbly yet for the most part unscathed. In some ways I miss those days.

This is merely a head cold. A head cold that through the miracles of modern science will be mitigated by altering my body chemistry and allowing me to fogilly move through the day. As it is I feel like I am running at about 56% of my baseline mental capacity. Since I am normally running at 78%, that means I and at a whopping 43.68% mental capacity of a typical hairless ape. Just thought you should know.

Thing the Second:

One of my coworkers knows a guy who is a train engineer. He drives trains and everything. I thought he was working for Norfolk Southern but is seems (via evidence) that he in fact works for CSX Transportation (who are running some killer commercials right now). Anywho… I contacted him about a year ago to see if there was any train swag he could send my way for a 4 year old (at the time). I never really heard back from the guy. No biggie. Nothing lost nothing gained. Move on.

Well, it seems he probably saw us out at the Weber Road crossing gate the other day whilst they were replacing the CSX track crossing (they own the rights to the Westernmost track of the three tracks that cross that street). Well, there was some temporary track across the street at time and the trains had to travel very slowly across the temp stuff. Needless to say there was a bunch of waving “face time” with the train personnel that evening and the following evening.

Lo and behold 5 days later SWAG

Thanks to train engineer, Eric and his middle man ACW for the kick ass Engineer’s Lantern for Little Man. He loves it. He has already had to use it since someone stole a bunch of the copper wire Monday and Tuesday morning causing us to have some outages in the wee hours of those mornings. The lantern is an unmitigated success. I did a great job of keeping the dark at bay.

To recap:
Ill = not good
I am tired
I will be leaving work early today
Yippee!
Because I am sick
Boooooooo!
Listening to my own sniffles and sneezes

3 Things

One would think that after 3 days of not blogging (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) I would have an easier time coming up with a topic for a Monday Post. One would be incorrect and slightly stoopid. One needs to recognize that I am not that talented nor am I that observant of my surroundings. One should also realize that one should ponder more important questions than whether or not I will have a ready at hand topic for Monday’s post. Truly one has their priorities misplaced.

Upon sensible reflection there are 3 things of which to illumine today.

Thing the First: One kid feeling a bit off over a weekend is difficult… 2 is really a different level of difficulty. Both kids got some shots on Friday and therefore were a bit under the weather over the weekend. Neither was really sick enough to be out of it. They were both just sick enough to be lethargic but not sick enough to not be bored. It is a perfect level of sickness.

Thing the Second: The house looks much better clean. Well, duh. Wifey and I focused on cleaning for our Sunday activity. We focused so much on it that Little Man actually joined the fray willingly. Scratch this from the record. The House looks much better clean? Come on, SRH, you can do better than that.

Thing the Second (Again): It turns out that I cannot in fact do better than the simple statement “The house looks much better clean.” I tried and, unfortunately, I am not nearly as capable as I had thought. My apologies.

Thing the Third: Little Man got the most kick-assiest haircut yesterday. Really, he looks awesome. Wee waited probably about a week too long to get a haircut for him, but the one we got clearly makes up for the lack of haircut a week ago.

To recap:
More animal questions tomorrow
I could sleep right now without even waiting 30 seconds
This weather is creating some head-ish discomfort
Not bad enough discomfort to call it a head ache, but discomfort none the less
Wifey is going to another “jewelry party” tonight
Guys don’t have those kinds of parties
I think I am phoning it in for the week
Enjoy!
Not listening to anything right now

Un-Digital Thursday

I don't have anything artistic to post today. I have been I am currently sitting 3rd in the competition for last Thursday's Digital Thursday piece over at the Cartographer’s Guild. The community there has set up some interesting voting processes. They take the number of entries and divide that by 5 and round up. The resultant quotient is how many votes that each individual voter can cast. I like that it creates voting system that is like applied fuzzy logic. There have been 116 voters casting votes so far, and the margin of victory with 116 votes is only 8, and the difference between myself and the person in second is only 1 vote. The 2 entries that are currently sitting ahead of me are very worthy entries by very capable cartographers. Winning and losing in this It has still been a fun vote to watch.

I think this month’s challenge will be another interesting free for all, but that is a topic for a different Digital Thursday.

Since I do not have anything digital to share, I will tell you a little tidbit about Q.

Last night I bathed both kids in succession. First I got Little Man all sparkling clean and did the best of his bedtime routine. Then after Wifey got home from a meeting I bathed off Q while Wifey was regaled with tales of train watching. I have never seen a child enjoy a bath as much as Q. She gets absolutely giddy when she hears and sees her bath being filled. But the smile of bath anticipation holds nothing on the gleeful face associated with the third minute of immersion. It takes her about three minutes to really soak in the fact that she is really actually IN the bathtub. That it is actually happening… to her. That is when the ear to ear grin crawls across her face.

Pretty soon there will be giggles associated with her beaming smile. That will make the time all that much sweeter.

To recap:
I will have something for Digital Thursday next week
I think that I just needed a break.
Next week I will be back and stronger for the rest
I really need to pee
To bad I am not at the governor’s mansion
Listening to a Never Gonna Give You Up cover by Cake from their B-Sides and Rarities release
Have a great weekend everyone

Toe-May-Toe Toe-Mah-Toe

So, on Friday I had the pleasure of watching both kids… at the same time! A little bit scary and a little bit fun. Therefore I have a few comments about Friday:

Thing the First: Wifey gets to do some interesting stuff. The day long event that Wifey was doing was a forum on kids and the out of doors and how much those two groups don’t interact as much as they should. This particular instance was a grass roots movement that has grown. Grown enough that the event was held at the Ohio Governor’s Mansion.

Thing the Second: During the day long event that Wifey was working, she realized that she did not have her breast pump and therefore the “girls” were getting a bit uncomfortable by around 2 in the afternoon. So she calls me up and asks if I can bring Q by to help her out with this predicament.

Sure thing, no problem. I will just waltz up to a governor’s mansion and demand that my baby be fed by someone facilitating an afternoon long process. I am sure that security won’t have an issue with that. Turns out that security did, in fact, not have an issue with that. I park on the street in front of the residence and get both kids out of the car. I walk up to an ajar gate and pass through into a driveway. I look at the State Troopers in the guard house and give them a “Sup” head nod. I get one in return and head into the back garden of the Governor’s Mansion. WTF?!?!? WHAT IF I HAD BEEN EL ZORRO, THE FOX, AND THIS HAD BEEN THE CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR’S MANSION?!?!?!?

Thing the Third: Little Man was running around in the back yard of the Governor’s Mansion like a mutant chicken. I am not sure what that means, but there are some 7 year old out there shouting “I’m a mutant chicken” and I just want to be hip. He runs past some park benches and some picnic tables. He runs past some shrubs and small trees. He runs past a small green house. He runs behind a small vegetable garden. He comes around a corner eating something. He goes around another picnic table. He… wait a second? Was he EATING something!?!?!

Little Man has stolen some cherry tomatoes from the Governor’s Mansion. Brilliant.

To recap:
I peed in the Governor’s Mansion
Twice
Went hiking on Sunday
The whole fam went hiking on Sunday
There were 4 of us
Not 3
4 of us
Great Googily Moogily! There are 4 of us!
Listening to conversations with co-workers
I wish it were music
But it is not.

Call me

Is it bad of me that I am nearly un-willing to leave people messages on their voicemail?
Truly, I do not think many of the people I would call are interested in hearing me stammer on about nothing and give some flimsy excuse for why I attempted to contact them, only to be thwarted by their lack of answering. Most times I am unwilling to leave a message stating that I called and that I really had nothing to call about. Clearly this is an issue of mine and mostly mine alone because I overhear people listening to messages on their voicemail all day long. The message is usually something like “Hey this is so-and-so, I don’t got nothin’ Gimme a call if ya want. Peace out. Word to ya mutha.”

I am sure you are reading this right now thinking “Why is SRH ‘innocently over-hearing’ conversations of someone that is so clearly stuck in the early 90’s?” There is one of you out there thinking “Sweet Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch! Is he listening into my funky fresh voicemailzzzz, boyeeeee?” You need help, and you need to turn your phone off of speaker. Don’t hate the playa, G. Hate the game. See ya on the flip side.

Compounding my un-willingness to leave a message is the fact that most the people I am calling have some kind of caller ID going on. Often they call me back not having attempted to listen to the message I potentially could have left had I not deemed it largely useless. It is clear that both caller and responder in this chess game are already 4 moves ahead.

To recap:
I stuck in a meeting today to talk about Moroccan radar systems and Filipino telecommunications systems
Surreal
Q is getting better we think
Still a bit on the snotty side though
I have no idea what the fam will be doing for dinner tonight
I have to finish up a mapping challenge and post the final results tonight
If I get that done that will be the Digital Thursday submission for tomorrow
Are you all excited now?
I am all a flutter
Listening to Righteous Ape & Bird by The Octopus Project from Identification Parade

Steamed

One of the odd things about nearly purely breastfed babies is the easily imagined tether that the child has with the mama. It is completely understandable that a young one would be rather beholden to the vessel of their sustenance. Really, it only makes sense. If a baby wants to eat and what the baby eats comes out of one particular person’s boobs, that baby and that be-boobed woman providing nutritional nourishment are most likely within a short distance of one another.

Well, yesterday I had to go to the grocery store. Ingredients for dinner were necessary and Wifey was busy and Little Man was enrapt by a daemon named Youtube, so I gathered up Q and Q’s accoutrement to go to the grocery store down the street. Ah… I love having a grocery store down the street, but that is a post of another day. Anyhoo… I decided that since Q is still too small for sitting up in the grocery cart, yet big enough to hold her head up , so I decided to take the Kelty Kangaroo carrier. Think of a Baby Bjorn but with more strappy goodness. Together Q and I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for last night’s dinner of steamed chicken.

“What’s in steamed chicken?” you ask. None of your damned business, that’s what. Okay, I guess that was a bit harsh. Steamed chicken is made with a package of those chicken breast tenderloins (which is an odd concept on its own), potatoes, green beans, corn, onion, spices, and olive oil.

Slice the potatoes (about 8 to 10 regular potatoes, or 6 or 7 big honking potatoes) thin and salt, pepper, and garlic powder them to taste.
Toss them into a microwave safe bowl with about 1T of olive oil.
Cover those spuds with some saran wrap, poke a few holes, and nuke that for 20 minutes.
Whilst nuking the spuds, you sear the chicken in a frying pan with some olive oil in it.
Of course you season the chicken with salt and pepper (what kind of barbarian do you think I am?)
Set the chicken aside on a plate, in a bowl, a cup. Hey, I am not Stalin here. I don’t care what you put the seared chicken in, just take it out of the hot oil to stop cooking the poultry, otherwise it isn’t even worth attempting to steam the fowl.
Slice one medium to medium large white onion, but slice it like you mean it.
Open one large can of cut green beans and drain, or I suppose you could get fresh green beans and snap them yourselves if you are Captain Suzy Homemaker or some such crap. I don’t have that kind of time, Chuck. So lay off.
Open one can of summer crisp sweet corn or niblets or white corn or whatever and drain. It’s corn, damnit and a can of it. I am sure if you wanted to you could blanche some ears of corn and cut off the kernels, but I don’t think you get your bang for your buck by doing that. There is a point where industriousness becomes pointless.
‘DING’ the ‘taters are finished nuking. Dump the potatoes into a pretty deep thingy* for the oven. Make sure this thingy has a tight fitting lid. *thingy can be a Ducth oven, a clay pot, something else earthen ware-ish, a gigantic casserole, etc… Again, I ain’t your boss.
Dump the onions in. Salt and Pepper them bitches up
Dump in the green beans. Salt and pepper them bitches up too
Dump in the corn. Salt and pepper them bitches up too because they ain’t special
Stir to mix thoroughly (not to be confused with doing something Thoreauly which I found out whilst contemplating the singular beauty of the setting sun reflected off of the carapaces of the industrious ant building a home from whence his collective validation emits).
Put the chicken on top and season with… Not salt and pepper! That’s rookie!! The chicken has already been seasoned with salt and pepper! Don’t bring that weak-ass game into my house! Season the chicken with rosemary. Yes, rosemary! It is best if you have a sprig freshly plucked from your herb garden, otherwise I would suggest powdered rosemary.
Cover and bake that up for 45 minutes at 450°F.
Viola and Bon Apetite

Anyhoo… It was our first outing sans Wifey. She was in a pretty confused mood. This was only the second time she had seen the Kelty Kangaroo Carrier. She was soaking up all the looks we were getting, and everyone did seem to be staring. It wasn’t until we got out of the car at the grocery store that I realized it was our first un-supervised trip. We had a great time because it was a nice trip.

To recap:
Little Man hasn’t reacted to any exposure to eggs
I have work to do today
I don’t want to do it
I would rather be napping
Seriously
I could have easily slept today awayQ is finding her voice these days
Talking up a storm
She is so vastly different than Little Man, so much so that we have pretty much thrown out everything we “learned” about rearing Little Man as a baby
Listening to Distraction by Angles and Airwaves off of We Don’t Need to Whisper

I feel... the POWAH

Over the past couple of days I have realized that the pioneering days were not all they were cracked up to be. Living without electricity is difficult when you are used to the modern convenience of things that “whirr” when plugged in and turned on. Not having much light at night makes insomnia really annoying and boring. Honestly I understand why people of yore got up a little before sunrise to start their day. It wasn’t because they were “morning people” or that there was so much to get done they had to start early, it was because they were bored out of their headachy skulls during the night if they were not sleeping. Don’t get me wrong it was nice to unplug for 1 evening and be unconnected to the electronic world. In fact it might become a monthly “day” for us, but 1 night was enough.

Now we have our power back so we can use our stove and keep food cold in a plugged in box instead of dangling it in a swift stream. Move us forward in time to say… the 1950’s. We have electricity and are very happy with that fact, but since we have out internet connection, TV reception, and phone all bundled together through our cable company and since our cable is out, we have no internet connectivity, phone, or TV reception in the house currently. So life has gotten better food preparation-wise but is still lacking in the entertainment area.

I hope that this “lack of global connectivity” is remedied rather quickly. There seems to be only so much I can do without tapping into the net to get validation from strangers. As it is, there are DVD’s to watch. Why Little Man decided that yesterday was a good day to dust off his Teletubbies DVD instead of his train DVD’s is beyond me. I never thought I would rather watch a succession of 140 trains in a 60 minute loop than Tinky-Winky, La La, Po, and that bastard out of Georgia, Dipsy.

To recap:
I needs the internets
Hopefully they will be back in action by the time I get home
Hopefully
I have little confidence in that though
And there is a new “Project Runway” on tonight at 9
Listening to All Alone by the Gorillaz off of Demon Days

3 Things

Oh, there are many a thing to tell from the weekend that was, I will instead only focus on three of them.

Thing the first: And They Call the Wind Maria: So it was a bit windy last night. By a “bit windy” I of course mean quite windy. There are quite a few trees down in the ‘hood and there is a good possibility that the fam will be without the power for a few days. The good thing is that we had not gone grocery shopping yet. We need to do laundry, buy groceries, and pay our bills electronically. I hope we are back online sooner rather than later.

Little Man was pretty freaked out by the power being off… not necessarily the wind storm itself. More to the point he was “scared” because he couldn’t play his new Diego based Wii game. He also might be kind of freaked out by the big ass tree that was knocked down onto a car down the street from us and watching the other tree split into thirds down the street from us. These are just guesses though.

Thing the second: Mom and Dad: Beyond the Thunderdome: My parents were going to pass through last night and have dinner with us prior to driving 2 more hours closer to their home. Well, they decided with the massive winds going on that it would be better to spend the night in Columbus and travel more today instead of part-way last night. This morning they decided to curtail their visit with the fam in order to travel get the HELL OUTTA DODGE!! I swear the looks on their faces made me think that they were uncomfortable in our lawless anarchy ridden post-apocalyptic war-zone. SWEET JEBUS THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS AREN”T WORKING!

Thing the Third: Hot Fresh Now: Little Man consumed his first food item that included egg in it’s preparation with no ill affects. We have been dairy-ing him up for a while now, yesterday he had his first taste of something with egg as an ingredient. He had no reaction other than wondering when we could “go to the store and get some when they are HOT FRESH NOW.”

To recap:
Driving to work today was like walking on glass
I had to help a poor bicyclist across the street
His heart was racing like a coke-addicted rabbit
A bicyclist trying to negotiate a 6 lane intersection where the drivers did not understand that they needed to treat it like a stop-sign
I almost said, “Grab onto my bumper and I will drag you to freedom”
Instead I said, “Stay close and follow me”
I am a super-hero
In my own mind
If it is only in my mind… why am I wearing a costume?

sitting at my desk

So here I am sitting at my desk watching a blue progress bar slowly creep across one of my myriad of necessarily open programs.

.11%

It is significantly past when I would normally be home with my family. I have been working like mad the past few hours, so again I apologize for the tardiness of this post.

.............25%

Anyhoo... Maybe I will share some of this riveting graphic as Digital Thursday. I know you are all out there with hearts all aflutter waiting with barely contained anticipation to see what could possibly be keeping me from eating dinner or going home. Maybe I will throw you a bone. A very dull and unexciting bone from what very possibly was at one point in time, a squirrel.

........................38%

So, other than being here sitting at my desk watching a progress bar barely progress, I do have news to impart to you, my fine readership and it is concerning Little Man's allergies.

............................42%

Yesterday Little Man had an appointment with the allergist who is also in charge of managing Little Man's Asthma.

...................................................67%

Results:

Firstly the asthma. It looks as if we will look at reducing the amount of asthma meds going into our 5 year old's system. The regimen that we are currently putting him through is working really well, so the doc wants us to look at what his breathing is like with marginally less meds. So kick ass there.

........................................................74%

Secondly the food allergies: Little Man got a scratch test which he was not happy about receiving, but the results were amazing. It looks like he has finally gotten past his milk and egg allergy and he might be less than a year away from outgrowing his peanut and tree nut allergies as well. Go ahead. Read it again. I will wait.... I know! Isn't that just amazing?

....................................................................88%

To recap:
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After this thing gets to 100% I am going to take it home to work on
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I have a better machine there and the same software
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We really don't even know what to do with this potentially food allergy free child
........................................................................9.. 99%
It is pretty amazing to think of
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US v Trinidad and Tobago tonight in World Cup Qualifying
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My phone ran out of battery around 2pm today
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Okay this is silly, the progress bar is just playing with my emotions now
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umm... listening to Right in Two by Tool
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WTF!!?!?!? Still 99%?!?!?!
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SWEATY JEBUS AT THE WATERHOLE! JUST 1 MORE FRIKKEN PERCENT!!!
.............................................................................100%
Woooooooooooooooo-Hoooooooooooooo!


Conversation


I have tried and tried to have meaningful conversations with my dad. They always devolve into him telling me about how much money he has. After waxing eloquent about his monetary station, the conversation lapses even further into such banal topics as weather and local sports franchises.

Every attempt I make at deflecting the conversation into something not about his finances lands me directly into a conversation about how hot it is, how wet it isn’t, how cold it was, etc… It doesn’t matter if the topic attempted is about finances or about retirement, if the topic cannot be steered back to HIS FINANCES then the phrase “how about that…” is quickly followed by heat, rain, snow, wind, etc… If I attempt to re-energize the conversation with something not weather related, BAM! Right into sports.

It makes me sad.

To recap:
If dad had invested in a sports franchise named after a weather phenomenon, his conversations would come down to mere talking points provided by a prospectus and PR department
By the way, the ‘rents are in town today
My grandma is turning 94-ish this weekend
Saturday is Wifey and my wedding anniversary
11 years of wedded bliss
Bliss! I tell you
Not sure what I am showing for Digital Thusday tomorrow
I am sure it will be all digital-ish though

DVR

I find myself mentally shaking my fist at Little Man and threatening to take “that ball the next time it comes in my yard” whenever we watch TV together. Shockingly I am from a time prior to the wonder that is known as the DVR.

**Side note: I kind of feel bad for Tivo for not getting enough market penetration prior to cable companies adding DVR’s to their list of services. Unlike Xerox or Kleenex or Band-Aid, Tivo was not able to make themselves into the generic name for their product’s industry. End Side note**

When I was a kid, you just watched TV as it was given to you. Sure you could record it whilst watching something by operating your wood-fired Video Cassette Recorder, but you could not replay instantly and then catch up with the existing programming. Well these damn kids these days watch something funny and then replay it ad nauseum. This morning Little Man saw something mildly amusing on his kid’s show of the moment, and then re-wound and watched this 30 second snippet 18 more times. It was the watching equivalent of listening to a skipping record… a repeating loop on a CD. (Even my analogies are old.) So, anyway… I am constantly fighting with my impulse to make him stop and watch TV right, Damnit! But who am I to judge what the correct way of viewing TV is?

To recap:
It is difficult to be a Renaissance man in a non-Renaissance world
This non-Renaissance world is chock full buzz-kills and idea-smashers
… and spiders
But luckily not techno-spiders
No one wants to be in a world with techno-spiders
Trust me on that one
I actually have some fodder for tomorrow’s Digital Thursday
Go Me!
Wifey is going to be a mess tonight
Friends of ours (mainly hers) are moving tomorrow
To Vermont of all places
She is going to be a blubbering mess
Plus she has work that needs to get done
Completely unrelated: Happy birthday, Mim!
Listening to Lust for Life by Iggy Pop

3 Things

I have three things to go over from this weekend.

Thing the first:

The search for a nanny for Q has begun in earnest. G-Ma D and G-Pa R just aren’t spry enough to chase down 2 kids. Especially when they are having difficulty with the one we have them watching currently. Little Man is a handful for the septuagenarians with various auto-immune deficiencies. It is not surprising to us, but we are afraid that in their infirmity they may not have realized that the writing is on the wall. Tomorrow morning we are spreading the news. It will not be pretty.

So far we have three candidates that we have in the queue. Saturday we saw the first of the 3. We see the second this evening and the third tomorrow evening. We are hoping to have the decision decided by this weekend. This is a difficult process.

Thing the second:

I can honestly say that I miss the Olympics. I miss being to catch Volleyball at nearly every hour of the day. Men’s… women’s… indoor… outdoor… whatever. I was able catch some other non-traditional sports as well. Unfortunately, while other events were happening, I also was able to focus solely on swimming and gymnastics. I hear that the online coverage was incredible, but that is only of small consequence since I watched the Olympics on my TV and not my computer.

Thing the Third:

Capt McArmpants was in town over the weekend and game Little Man his birthday present. Little Man is now the proud owner of a Wii. He is also known to make the noise, “Wheeeeeee!” whilst playing said Wii. So far he has only been willing to try out the Wii Bowling, but he is easily the best in the house. Now Wifey and I are on a mission to find appropriate titles for his Wii playing habits. If we (umm really “I”) find some other titles on the way, that is just a bonus for the fam.

To recap:
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Thanks! Capt Armypants
Bock! Bock!
Soo sleep deprived
The Olympics coupled with child rearing coupled with job stress equals no sleep for SRH
Tonight’s interview is the one Wifey and I are most looking forward to
Tomorrow’s interview is iffy at best
Saturday’s was good, just not inspiring
Not listening to anything at the moment
Well, I am listening into my coworkers’ conversations as much a s I can, but that is a different story
The story is a simple story though
SRH = Nosy

The Visitor

This morning as I was taking Little Man his breakfast of champions (Cap’n Crunch with sliced bananas) my cell phone did something odd… it rang. “Who would possibly me at 8:30 in the morning?” I asked myself. I then admonished myself for not just waiting a second and looking at the phone’s caller ID. I am so impatient sometimes. I pick up the phone which, in truth, was not actually ringing, it was doing its weird arcade machine kind of noise. Well, I looked at the phone and saw that it was none other than Capt. McArmypants calling me before I started my day.

To cut to the chase, McArmypants is visiting this weekend. I am sooo excited. Now while I am up stoopid late at night being sleep deprived, I will have company. That’s how it works, isn’t it? Long awaited return of friend = stoopid late nights and simultaneous candle end burning, yes?

Anyhoo…this will be the inaugural meeting between Q and McArmypants. I already know who is going to win this encounter and she is only 9 pounds and some change. I would even give her best 2 falls out of three. It is going to be absolutely wonderful watching this confident man melt before the fire that is Q. The rough PTSD exterior will be flayed from him like something that flays things really well… you know a flayer-thingy. All that will be left is an even rougher emotional interior weeping at the beauty and awe inspiration that we know as Q.

The same thing happened when McArmypants met Little Man. McArmypants was able to build up his shell in time to be deployed in a combat zone. Way to go Capt. I hope this time the shell is a nice candy coating.

To recap:
This melting of rough exterior of course relies upon Q willing to be not held by Wifey
I will post right before going home
I need to go home
I am tired
The US plays Guatemala tonight in a World Cup Qualifier
The US should win, but winning in Guatemala is not as easy as one might think
I need to buy some more Cinnamon Chip bread from Great Harvest
Wifey likes it for breakfast
Little Man likes it for any time ever
Mmmmm bread
Listening to Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys